How Baywatch Turned Budget Cuts into Pop Culture

Justin Bieber

So, so, so, okay, I gotta ask you because, like, someone was telling me this, and I- I- I couldn't even believe it at first. They were, like, yeah, Roxanne, um, likes to watch Baywatch. Like, Roxanne takes a serious interest in Baywatch. He is, um, bay, not gay, you know? Like, is this, is this actually your, your secret vibe now?

Roxanne

Wait, wait, who- who told you that? No, but, okay, let- let me defend myself because it sounds... okay, it sounds ridiculous, but there is, like, a legitimate biological reason. I- I actually track this, Justin. I wear my, my heart rate strap, and when I watch those, like, slow, rolling waves and the- the red swimsuits, my, my heart rate variability, my HRV, it just shoots up. It down-regulates my entire nervous system. It's- it's literally better than meditation for my recovery score.

Justin Bieber

No way. No way. You are- you're tracking your vitals while watching David Hasselhoff run on a beach? That is, like, the most... that's the most pseudo-scientific wellness hack I've ever heard. You're- you're literally just watching ninety- nineties babes in red spandex and calling it, like, a somatic recovery protocol. I love that.

Roxanne

I- I- I am telling you, it works. The pacing is just so... it's so low-stakes. But- but it's hilarious because that whole, like, low-stakes, cheap vibe? That was actually born out of a massive, massive failure. Like, when the show first launched back on, um, I think it was April 23, 1989, on NBC? It was a complete and utter belly flop. Like, total disaster.

Justin Bieber

April 23, 1989. Wow, that is, like, ancient history. But wait, why did it flop? I thought it was, like, the biggest show in the world.

Roxanne

Not at first. It- it was actually... so, the production costs were, like, sky-high because shooting on open water is- is apparently a nightmare, right? And the ratings were just- they were garbage. It ranked 74th out of 111 shows. So, yeah, NBC pulled the plug. They just- they cancelled it after one single season because it was losing them so much money.

Justin Bieber

Seventy-fourth? Man, that's- that's rough. That's, like, getting benched in the first quarter. So how did it- how did it even survive? Because, like, I grew up seeing that red swimsuit everywhere.

Roxanne

So, this is the- the wild part. David Hasselhoff and the executive producers, they- they still believed in it. So they went to NBC, and they- they bought the rights back for a symbolic ten dollars. Ten bucks, Justin. They- they basically got this massive TV franchise for the price of a, like, a cheap burrito.

Justin Bieber

Ten dollars? Like, a single ten-dollar bill? That is... that is insane. They bought a whole franchise for ten bucks. I- I- I mean, talk about a bargain. So they just, what, they just started shooting it again on their own?

Roxanne

Yeah, exactly. They bypassed the networks completely and went straight into first-run syndication. But to- to make it work, because they didn't have that big NBC budget anymore, they had to slash costs everywhere. And- and that's actually where all the, like, the iconic elements of the show came from. They turned budget cuts into, like, global pop culture.

Justin Bieber

Wait, wait, wait. Are you- are you telling me the slow-motion running... like, the- the thing everyone associate with the show... that was a budget cut? No, because that- that was, like, the ultimate aesthetic. Everyone was doing that.

Roxanne

It- it- it was a hundred percent a budget hack. It's- it's actually hilarious. They, um, they literally didn't have enough script or enough budget to film more scenes, so they just slowed down the footage they already had to fill the time. Like, they had to hit an hour-long slot, and they ran out of money to shoot actual scenes, so they were just, like, hey, let's make this three-second run of Pamela Anderson last for thirty seconds.

Justin Bieber

Oh my god. They literally didn't have enough script or enough budget to film more scenes, so they just slowed down. That is... that is the most genius, lazy thing I have ever heard in my life. It's like when you're writing a paper in school and you just, like, make the font slightly bigger and double-space it so it looks longer. But instead of a grade, they got syndication in, what, like, a hundred countries?

Roxanne

One hundred and forty-two countries. It- it became the most-watched show in the world. But- but because they spent all their money on- on just stretching the runtime, they had to be super, super strict about how the actors looked. Like, they had these insane physical mandates built right into the contracts. They called them body maintenance clauses.

Justin Bieber

Body maintenance? That sounds like, um, like getting an oil change for a car. What did they actually make them do?

Roxanne

So, for the guys, they- they had to maintain a body fat percentage of, like, five percent to seven percent. Which is- that's, like, shredded-to-the-bone, bodybuilder level. And- and the rumor was that Hasselhoff actually had a rule where none of the other male actors could have, like, better-defined abs than him. He had to be the alpha beach guy.

Justin Bieber

Five to seven percent? Man, that is... that is exhausting. I- I- I mean, I love working out, but keeping five percent body fat just to stand on a beach in slow motion? That sounds like a- a full-time job of just eating boiled chicken and crying. No wonder they had to slow the footage down, those guys probably didn't have the energy to run at full speed.

Roxanne

Right? They were probably, like, starving. But, see, this is- this is my whole point about the- the wellness thing. I- I've been thinking about this "slow-motion running because we ran out of script" thing. It's- it's actually a perfect metaphor for, like, modern life. Like, we are all running so fast, trying to write more script, generate more content, do more things... when really, maybe we just need to, like, slow the footage down.

Justin Bieber

Wait, so you're- you're turning a cheap production trick from a nineties show about lifeguards into a lifestyle philosophy? You're- you're advocating for, what, slow-mo living?

Roxanne

I- I am, actually. Think about it. When you feel like you're running out of, of mental budget, or your- your daily script is too thin... don't try to force more scenes. Just, like, slow down the pace of what you're already doing. Preserve that energy. It's- it's all about conservation, Justin.

Justin Bieber

Honestly, I- I- I kinda get it. Like, next time I'm feeling stressed, I'm just gonna walk to my kitchen to get a glass of water in, like, extreme slow motion. Just imagine the- the theme song playing in my head. It's- it's actually kind of peaceful.

Roxanne

Exactly. Try it next time you're feeling overwhelmed. Just, um, just slow down the tape. Alright, I'm gonna go track my HRV now. Talk to you later.

Justin Bieber

Alright, go get your red swimsuit. See ya.