The Two-Yard Rule for Overwhelm

Justin Bieber

So, I, I was actually thinking about this this morning, just, like, sitting in the dark, you know? Blinds completely shut, just staring at the floor. It is like when you are so exhausted you just end up sleeping in the chair all night because moving to the bed feels like, I don't know, climbing a mountain. You are just totally, totally wiped out after doing something as simple as a, a phone call for benefits or, or whatever. And it makes you realize, like, trying to explain your entire life, the, the whole story all at once, it just paralyzes you. You cannot do the hundred yards. You, you, you just have to do a couple of yards and go from there.

Roxanne

Wait, the, the chair? You actually slept in a chair all night? That is, um, I mean, talk about physical exhaustion. But what you are saying about the hundred yards versus the couple of yards, that is actually a real clinical thing. In Somatic Experiencing therapy, they call it titration. It is, like, a chemistry term, right? Where you add a substance drop by drop, slowly, so it does not, you know, blow up. In therapy, titration is literally breaking down overwhelming experiences into smaller, more manageable parts. If you try to process the whole hundred yards of your trauma or your stress, your autonomic nervous system just, it, it slips right into a traumatic shutdown. You have to focus on just, like, one tiny bit, one scene that bothered you, and just, you know, do a few yards of it.

Justin Bieber

Drop by drop. Yeah. That makes so much sense, because, like, otherwise, you are just taking on too much by yourself, and then you get into a ton of trouble. It is like, you need that, that oversight. Like how this guy in the audio, Ryan, talks about his helper, Susan. He is working with her so someone else actually knows what is going on with him, you know? He says we live in a, a, a world of assistance. Like, think about sports. High school basketball or football, they do not just have one coach. They have assistants. Even if some track coach named, uh, Dennis Siefkin did it alone, which is wild, most sports have a whole team of coaches so one person does not have to take on everything. You need that co-regulation, you know? Someone to help carry the weight.

Roxanne

Absolutely. We are not built to carry the hundred yards alone. Teachers do not get assistants, which Ryan points out is so weird compared to sports, and they get totally burned out. But when you have a monitor, a watch person, like Susan, you do not feel like you are up against the whole world. You have a legal representative, or a therapist, or just a friend to, like, outsource that heavy mental load to.

Justin Bieber

Man, I feel that so much. In my world, everyone wants the, the whole narrative, you know? They want the, the big tell-all, the entire hundred-yard childhood-to-stardom story, and it is, it is so exhausting. I have had to learn to just practice the, the two-yard rule. Like, when I am talking to my mentors, I am like, look, we are only talking about this one specific thing today. Just this tiny fragment of my week. If I try to explain the whole thing, I just, I freeze up. You gotta protect your peace, drop by drop, you know?

Roxanne

Exactly. If you do not titrate, you just drown in the story.

Roxanne

It is like what Ryan was saying about how he, he retreats in his mind to this place called Rural Route Two, out in the country. He talks about how when they moved to Rockwell City, the crowd changed, and it, it just was not the same. So he, he constantly daydreams about Rural Route Two, where his friends Stacy and James would visit. It is like this geography of safety he goes to when he is stressed.

Justin Bieber

Yeah, Rural Route Two. That is beautiful, man. But he is also, like, super hard on himself about it. He is asking, like, where does that leave me in my development? Am I, am I disconnected because I am daydreaming about boyhood? And you hear about this in, like, online chat rooms, right? Men who want to relive sports boyhood, or summer camp, or church, but nobody talks about it in public. Why do we, like, shame people for wanting to visit those younger days? Like it is some kind of regression?

Roxanne

Oh, totally. Culturally, we are taught that looking back is, like, weak or that we are stuck. But in somatic therapy, that is actually called resourcing. Resourcing is literally putting a person in touch with positive inner feelings of safety. It is a biological tool. When Ryan is visualizing Rural Route Two, his brain is searching for a baseline of when he felt better to down-regulate his nervous system. It is not a developmental failure. It is his body trying to heal.

Justin Bieber

That is so deep. So, like, your brain is just looking for that safety signal. Like, I used to think about just playing hockey on the frozen ponds in Stratford, you know? Just the sound of the skates. I guess that was my Rural Route Two when things got too loud.

Roxanne

Yes. That is exactly it. And honestly, we spend so much money on wellness tools, like sleep trackers, red light therapy, sleeping eight hours, and yet cultivating a mental Rural Route Two is completely free. It is a potent, internal resource. If you are struggling with chronic sleep deprivation, like eighteen months of only four to five hours of sleep, your body is in constant flight or fight. You need to signal safety to your brain before you can even think about sleep. You have to find that vibe, that internal place, or even a community of people who get it, so you do not feel so incredibly alone in the dark.

Justin Bieber

Man, that is it. Find your signal, put your blinker on so people know you are turning, and, uh, do not try to run the hundred yards alone. Good chatting, Roxanne. I am gonna go find my pond.

Roxanne

Talk soon, Justin. Sleep well.